looking after people's hemlines....

I don't care very much for family gatherings especially if a big part or perhaps a substantial part of the attendees are gonna be someone's dua-pupu or tiga-pupu or kupu-kupu. You don't know who is who & who is married to whom & which kid is whose?

But sometimes, duty calls & yes, we put up a brave front for a couple of hours or so till we leave for the safety of our own home. Of late, they have been a couple of weddings we had to attend on the hubby's side of the family. Earlier this month, one happened in the south of the country & just yesterday, another one up north. And another one coming up in the eastern part of the country.

There is no way we can weasel our way out of not attending as they are the hubby's uncles & aunts from the mother's side. And being a true blue southerner that the hubby is, mom's word is law. What better way to spend the weekend than to drive for 2 hours up north, stay eat & chat for another 2 hours & drive all the way back again for the next 2 hours, right? Ah well....

Okay, the salam-salam cium tangan, hug-hug, air-kisses part I can tolerate. "Anak mana?" *points* "Oh dah besar lah, muka mak/bapak (depending on the left or the right profile I suppose)" "Lama tak jumpa" "Bila nak datang rumah" - I have already perfected the smile, the answer...

But when it comes to "Eh, mana bini / laki dia?" (refering to the other half who is MIA) & when the berita terkini, hiburan tak se-sensasi mana comes about; I feel a bit uneasy. Speculations about who is on the verge of a break-up, whose marriage is on the rocks...I have the choice to either walk away from the conversation or change the subject depending again who is the broadcaster for the news.

I did HR for a living once upon a time & partially now but I have never subscribed to the 'jaga tepi kain orang' business. Okay, maybe HR is being empathic to the staffs, lending an ear or a shoulder to cry on but does that give us the right to be downright kepoh. Yes, I can be kepoh sometimes but I do not believe in prying in other people's business. Let's just say kepoh for the right reasons. Erk???

If they choose to tell me or need someone to listen, I am all ears. But if they don't tell me, I don't ask. Back in the old company I worked for, gossips were aplenty. Who's having an affair with whom, who's doing who... some tried to get an information out of me. My answer? Simple... is it a HR issue? Any grievances? Are you lodging a complaint formally? If the answer is YES to all three questions, then you can talk to me.. If it's just plain gossip, my mantra is See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do No Evil.

After one company trip, I was summoned to my boss' office and they queried me on why a certain head of department chose to take a cab with another staff. Where did they go? How the hell should I know?? They don't want to take the transport provided - not my problem. They want to take a cab on their own - I reminded them they cannot claim to which they agree, problem solved. So should I make it my business to ask them anything else??? Needless to say, my bosses were quite disappointed I could not fill them in on the juicier details (if there were any to start with).

Another tried to ask if someone & someone else were a couple (or simply put doing each other)? I asked her what her concern was... She said "Not right mah..." I told her to lodge a complaint to the head if she's not happy. When it becomes a HR issue, only then I can address it. Otherwise for all I care, someone & someone else & some other person can do whomever, wherever, whatever, whichever, however they want...

Ahhh, I see it now!! No wonder lah I wasn't Miss Popular..... thus my boss decided on this HR with a Heart program where I, the heartless biatch was supposed to be friendly, approachable, empathetic & all the other things I rarely am. Did it work you ask? No, not really I quit half way into the year.

Being nice wasn't & isn't really easy after all.....