Still doing my benefits write up and I came across this new word Super Dino introduced to me. And a conversation between my evil twin & I transpire...
"New word - Amentities"
"Amen, hahahaha"
"Tities, amen"
"Amen, you got nice tities"
It was a laugh out loud moment. I couldn't help myself...
Thanks darling evil twin for helping me at times of need! Me lurves youse.
20100128
allow me the benefit at your expense
Major headache now. Something I really don't need. But I'm going off for a retail therapy tomorrow. So I shall persevere...
Taking a breather now. (yes I am blogging while I am supposed to be busy & the deadline is end of today, which is like 2 hours away).
So anyways, the company after merging and buying up little companies decides to streamline their processes and stuff. One major headache is the staffs' allowances, benefits & expenses. And yours truly has been assigned the thankless job of checking claims and policing them to make sure they don't siphon the company's moolah one dollar at a time. I'm beginning to think I have the words "CLAIMS" on my forehead somewhere that everyone else but I can see. Every where I go, it somehow becomes my job to check them.
Anyhoos, I am doing the 'bible' for an upcoming HR clinic for the heads & persons in charge who will be enlightened on the new procedures, benefits and all that jazz.
Bertungkus lumus I work on the clauses only to have Super Dino change it all... like this...
From 'In the course of official duties, authorized employees shall be reimbursed' to 'In the course of official duties, only senior employees and employees in constant dealings'
From 'clients and business associates' to 'clients / principals / bankers'
From 'any amount exceeding than that of the amount given' to 'any amount exceeding by filling the entertainment form that of the amount given'
From 'the executive committee has the discretion to control the grant of entertainment expenses' to... oh wait, she took out that clause.
I am in no mood to make the changes to the grammar mistakes or whatever crap she is trying to put across. She is trying to aircon the ED by putting in word for word what he typed in his email. Monkey see monkey do. You know how they say you pay peanuts, you get monkeys... Now with the assortment of nuts available, even if the nuts are expensive, you still get monkeys. They are definitely not paying her peanuts, more like pine nuts but nevertheless...
I'm not arguing with anything. I just want to finish off this shitty thing, give it to her and go off for my trip tomorrow. And come back on Tuesday to all this madness..
Taking a breather now. (yes I am blogging while I am supposed to be busy & the deadline is end of today, which is like 2 hours away).
So anyways, the company after merging and buying up little companies decides to streamline their processes and stuff. One major headache is the staffs' allowances, benefits & expenses. And yours truly has been assigned the thankless job of checking claims and policing them to make sure they don't siphon the company's moolah one dollar at a time. I'm beginning to think I have the words "CLAIMS" on my forehead somewhere that everyone else but I can see. Every where I go, it somehow becomes my job to check them.
Anyhoos, I am doing the 'bible' for an upcoming HR clinic for the heads & persons in charge who will be enlightened on the new procedures, benefits and all that jazz.
Bertungkus lumus I work on the clauses only to have Super Dino change it all... like this...
From 'In the course of official duties, authorized employees shall be reimbursed' to 'In the course of official duties, only senior employees and employees in constant dealings'
From 'clients and business associates' to 'clients / principals / bankers'
From 'any amount exceeding than that of the amount given' to 'any amount exceeding by filling the entertainment form that of the amount given'
From 'the executive committee has the discretion to control the grant of entertainment expenses' to... oh wait, she took out that clause.
I am in no mood to make the changes to the grammar mistakes or whatever crap she is trying to put across. She is trying to aircon the ED by putting in word for word what he typed in his email. Monkey see monkey do. You know how they say you pay peanuts, you get monkeys... Now with the assortment of nuts available, even if the nuts are expensive, you still get monkeys. They are definitely not paying her peanuts, more like pine nuts but nevertheless...
I'm not arguing with anything. I just want to finish off this shitty thing, give it to her and go off for my trip tomorrow. And come back on Tuesday to all this madness..
20100126
when you wish upon a star
Should I count my lucky stars that the daughter is refusing every single idea I have put forward to her for a birthday prezzie? She's turning 16 soon and as the norm, we want to give her something she would really like and want. She says "don't know". So I shoot off some ideas - new phone? No. I-Pod? No. Laptop? No. Shoes? No. Clothes? No. Watch? No. Cash? She hesitates...
But cash is so impersonal. But perhaps if I gave it to her to buy whatever her little heart desires..
If it were any other kid, they'd probably try their luck for 16 prezzies.. But I must have been good somewhere along my life to deserve such a darling.
Any ideas on what makes a good gift for sweet 16?
But cash is so impersonal. But perhaps if I gave it to her to buy whatever her little heart desires..
If it were any other kid, they'd probably try their luck for 16 prezzies.. But I must have been good somewhere along my life to deserve such a darling.
Any ideas on what makes a good gift for sweet 16?
by virtue...
Can anyone please explain the meaning behind this question - "is d virtue from is d right one ?"
Badaks speaks, me must learns...
Badaks speaks, me must learns...
20100125
i am man, hear me whimper...
Did you read this today in the papers? About men being the weaker sex? Hey, don't get all riled up.. Read it and tell me it's not true.
I have had first hand experience and let me assure you that it's all true. ALLLLLLL TRUE. When its us females who are sick, they'll just tell you to take medicine and go to sleep cos that's what we need. Complete rest. Then they'll say 'Okaylah, you masak bubur lah kalau takde selera nak makan". Worse still at the first sign of the sniffles, they'll pump you up with medicine so that you aren't even allowed to fall sick. "You can't fall sick, who's gonna do (rattles off a list of things to do)??"
When its their turn to take medicine, go to sleep and get a complete rest, they'll say "Tak boleh tidur lah, got block nose. Joints aching. Kepala sakit lah, demam lah" only to check their temperature and find out its all imaginary. Don't even get me started on the million and one excuses they come up with when you start to suggest a visit to the docs...
20100122
when in doubt
You know when you write a letter or any form of correspondence but don't know who to address it to - 'sir' for male, 'madam' for female, 'to whom it may concern' doesn't sound so friendly?
I found an ingenious way to address this situation (pun unintended). I was copied on a mail sent to two people actually and sender decided to put in 'Dear both'.
Either way, it can also be used for a sexually confused person who's not sure if he's a woman trapped with a disco stick or a dyke with boobs & cupid stunt (credits to ah chan for this).
I found an ingenious way to address this situation (pun unintended). I was copied on a mail sent to two people actually and sender decided to put in 'Dear both'.
Either way, it can also be used for a sexually confused person who's not sure if he's a woman trapped with a disco stick or a dyke with boobs & cupid stunt (credits to ah chan for this).
20100120
raindrops keep falling on my...
"Hi, need to check with you if your boss holds any directorship in other public listed companies other than (present company)"
"ABC Sdn Bhd & XYZ Sdn Bhd. Do you need me to fill up a form?"
"Sdn Bhd is not PLC"
"Oh I forgot. Then takdelah. Its only this"
**Speechless**
Even the good news / fairly bad news I got before this happened couldn't top this.
"ABC Sdn Bhd & XYZ Sdn Bhd. Do you need me to fill up a form?"
"Sdn Bhd is not PLC"
"Oh I forgot. Then takdelah. Its only this"
**Speechless**
Even the good news / fairly bad news I got before this happened couldn't top this.
20100115
i is intelligent you know... WAHHHHHH
Remember the bc-cw woman, now she's got a new title - Dino the Cavewoman. Long story how she got that name... But anyways here's how she delighted my boring little world today.
She gets this life changing inspiring mail about how we must change in order to grow & god-knows-whatelse 'rock my world' mantra. So inspired and moved is she that she wants to print out a particular message in the message.
She calls me in to help her (alike the many a times she calls me in just to align her Excel spreadsheet). I try to copy the image & print it, no can do. So I tell her to forward it to me, and I'll see what I can do. I ain't no tech whiz but can lah...
So I find out that some bugger who's nothing better to do in life than to create all this shit on some slides, actually pasted the thing on an image thing. So THAT one particular slide cannot be extracted. So I tell Dino. This ensues....
"So how to print that particular image I want?"
"Recreate it lah. As long as you don't need THAT specific picture, I can use any picture I want"
"Recreate it? How?"
"Retype the phrase lah"
"Wah, you very intelligent ah. I wouldn't have thought about that. My mind is too preoccupied"
Yeah, I'm sitting here doing nothing. I'm working okay, and yeah updating my blog IS what I consider work. Reading the ED's 3 pages email is boring me to tears & yawns. And I am not preoccupied with the stupid assignment that just got handed to me this morning?
Me is intelligent you know...WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I is impressed!! Wait, didn't she once say I have flaws & imperfect. Imperfect intelligence with flaws... what can I not do??
She gets this life changing inspiring mail about how we must change in order to grow & god-knows-whatelse 'rock my world' mantra. So inspired and moved is she that she wants to print out a particular message in the message.
She calls me in to help her (alike the many a times she calls me in just to align her Excel spreadsheet). I try to copy the image & print it, no can do. So I tell her to forward it to me, and I'll see what I can do. I ain't no tech whiz but can lah...
So I find out that some bugger who's nothing better to do in life than to create all this shit on some slides, actually pasted the thing on an image thing. So THAT one particular slide cannot be extracted. So I tell Dino. This ensues....
"So how to print that particular image I want?"
"Recreate it lah. As long as you don't need THAT specific picture, I can use any picture I want"
"Recreate it? How?"
"Retype the phrase lah"
"Wah, you very intelligent ah. I wouldn't have thought about that. My mind is too preoccupied"
Yeah, I'm sitting here doing nothing. I'm working okay, and yeah updating my blog IS what I consider work. Reading the ED's 3 pages email is boring me to tears & yawns. And I am not preoccupied with the stupid assignment that just got handed to me this morning?
Me is intelligent you know...WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, I is impressed!! Wait, didn't she once say I have flaws & imperfect. Imperfect intelligence with flaws... what can I not do??
senseless sense
Is there a rule somewhere outlining Facebook etiquette? On what remarks to leave, what to say, what not to say, when not to be an ass?
A friend posted a picture taken at another friend's son's birthday party. Well, we may not have looked our best in the pic & looked rather lost or as she put it 'poyo'. So she put in a remark to comment on our expressions in the pic.. And we had an exchange of mindless comments that would only makes sense to the three of us. Although one of the trio was mostly the silent one simply because she didn't have easy access to FB at that time.
This was like what, donkey years ago... So anyways, one guy let's call this one Ass - he became friends with the girl who posted the pic, thus having access to view her album. He came across this picture I mentioned above & gave a rather dumb senseless remark like "Sebab takut nak balik rumah" (his justification to our 'poyo' look). So my friend replied his remark with "Doesn't make sense" & I just had to add on "As the saying goes, if you have nothing nice (or intelligent might I add) to say, zip it".
And he just had to do it with "Didnt read something intelligent at all here anyway. Just FMTPO!" & of course I had to give him a piece of my mind. Well, he's yet to reply. I'm waiting. Patiently. Am I waging a war? You bet your ass I am.
At first I thought my friend knew him well so I asked her why he was making remarks like that? She said that she didn't know him personally just as an FB friend cos he kept bugging her to add him as a friend. Ass or not? Dah lah desperate giler & then had the audacity say senseless things about people he doesn't even know. WTF?
And just in case you didn't know - FMTPO is the acronym for "For Me To Poop On". How is that relevant to what he said is also beyond me. Go figure. Anyone knows what its supposed to mean? But then again, he does have shit for brains, so. And here's my message to him....
20100114
hipO(s) of a badaks berendams together-gether...
In my last employment, I had the displeasure of working with someone who was a bit 'duh'... I thought I had the last of it when I left that hell on earth.
But noooooooooo, I have come to the conclusion that in every organization there must be one to maintain a balance. Yin and Yang.
The bosses of where I work now are flying to a neighboring country sometime next week & one fella from our office up north is supposed to go on the same trip. The bosses are flying from KL & the other fella from Penang. So I ask the secretary in Penang who booked the flights for him to advise his flight schedule as I need to inform our host. She then sends me a mail. I realise that the bugger is on the same flight as the bosses all along. And I reconfirm with her.
She tells me "Ya same flight as the bosses but he is in econ. Different cabin, may at the back" (no typo error, as per her reply ya!!)
Oh? I thought econ was beside the pilot??
But noooooooooo, I have come to the conclusion that in every organization there must be one to maintain a balance. Yin and Yang.
The bosses of where I work now are flying to a neighboring country sometime next week & one fella from our office up north is supposed to go on the same trip. The bosses are flying from KL & the other fella from Penang. So I ask the secretary in Penang who booked the flights for him to advise his flight schedule as I need to inform our host. She then sends me a mail. I realise that the bugger is on the same flight as the bosses all along. And I reconfirm with her.
She tells me "Ya same flight as the bosses but he is in econ. Different cabin, may at the back" (no typo error, as per her reply ya!!)
Oh? I thought econ was beside the pilot??
did you hear about the one....
Twice I heard about this. Once from a colleague who mentioned that some Malay tabloid reported it & yesterday from the hubby who read it out aloud from The Star.
A certain pop princess got a RM40k LV limited edition bag from her beloved hubby. And being the tabloid they are, it was reported that it was wayyyy cheaper than her first gift from him a RM800k sports car, second year RM200k watch. I'm sure the reporter rubbed this fact in her face, to which she replied something like "It doesn't matter, as long as he loves me. I've always wanted a limited edition LV bag"....So being the kepoh I am, I found this. After you have 20 LVs in your collection, does another one really make that much of a difference? Oh yeah, I forgot it's limited...
Then again, do they find it absolutely necessary to report what she gets for her birthday every year? Any guesses what the value is gonna be at? My hubby causticly commented that she should be worried on the declining factor...
Sour grapes much?? Alah, apa susah, use the supplementary card (yes we have our own principal cards but its always good to keep a supplementary where HE has to pay) to buy whatever we want, then sweetly tell him "You bought me this..." which in truth, he did technically. He paid, you just picked it out.
Damn!! The Birkin won't cost as much would it?? Aiyah, cannot keluar Metro lah liddat.... Oh wait!! I ain't no pop princess. Sigh.....
A certain pop princess got a RM40k LV limited edition bag from her beloved hubby. And being the tabloid they are, it was reported that it was wayyyy cheaper than her first gift from him a RM800k sports car, second year RM200k watch. I'm sure the reporter rubbed this fact in her face, to which she replied something like "It doesn't matter, as long as he loves me. I've always wanted a limited edition LV bag"....So being the kepoh I am, I found this. After you have 20 LVs in your collection, does another one really make that much of a difference? Oh yeah, I forgot it's limited...
Then again, do they find it absolutely necessary to report what she gets for her birthday every year? Any guesses what the value is gonna be at? My hubby causticly commented that she should be worried on the declining factor...
Sour grapes much?? Alah, apa susah, use the supplementary card (yes we have our own principal cards but its always good to keep a supplementary where HE has to pay) to buy whatever we want, then sweetly tell him "You bought me this..." which in truth, he did technically. He paid, you just picked it out.
Damn!! The Birkin won't cost as much would it?? Aiyah, cannot keluar Metro lah liddat.... Oh wait!! I ain't no pop princess. Sigh.....
20100113
tis the season...
2009 has gone. 2010 is here...
If you are thinking its a new year post & all the "Happy New Year, may it be filled with..." crap, stop reading now!!
If you know HR well enough, now is the time for bonuses & increments (subject that the Company is perfoming, same ole, same ole). Pretty soon, we'll be checking our payslips to see the winning numbers. Normally, duit keluar dulu then surat. Mana you nak dulu? Duit ke surat?
In unusual cases where the letters are the former rather than the latter, you expect to be given a letter only if it bears good news. But have you ever come across where you dapat zilch pun, they give you letter?
A dear friend told me of her company who does just that. Nothing better to do ah these people?
Dear Jane,
We are pleased (you damn sure the company is damn pleased) to inform that you have been given a bonus of RM0 & an annual increment of RM0. We trust that you are pleased with this. We thank you for your contribution & bla bla bla.
Yours sincerely,
Jack (Ass)
See, I don't even know how this bloody letter is supposed to sound? Enlighten me?
If you are thinking its a new year post & all the "Happy New Year, may it be filled with..." crap, stop reading now!!
If you know HR well enough, now is the time for bonuses & increments (subject that the Company is perfoming, same ole, same ole). Pretty soon, we'll be checking our payslips to see the winning numbers. Normally, duit keluar dulu then surat. Mana you nak dulu? Duit ke surat?
In unusual cases where the letters are the former rather than the latter, you expect to be given a letter only if it bears good news. But have you ever come across where you dapat zilch pun, they give you letter?
A dear friend told me of her company who does just that. Nothing better to do ah these people?
Dear Jane,
We are pleased (you damn sure the company is damn pleased) to inform that you have been given a bonus of RM0 & an annual increment of RM0. We trust that you are pleased with this. We thank you for your contribution & bla bla bla.
Yours sincerely,
Jack (Ass)
See, I don't even know how this bloody letter is supposed to sound? Enlighten me?
dum dum dum dee dum
I was told to create an expenses claim form based on 5 different formats by 5 different subsidiaries. So this form is supposed to capture all the information required by the 5 different groups. So I come up with this template & being the IT ignomarus that she is, I give her the hard copy lah...
"Eh, why your mileage section very sikit ah? Their mileage claims sometimes can be a lot"
"It's soft copy mah, they can add however many rows they want. Just don't disturb the formulae & the format lah"
"Then the form 'lari' how?"
"Realign the margins lah.."
"Oh liddat ah..."
Dumb-founded!!??
"Eh, why your mileage section very sikit ah? Their mileage claims sometimes can be a lot"
"It's soft copy mah, they can add however many rows they want. Just don't disturb the formulae & the format lah"
"Then the form 'lari' how?"
"Realign the margins lah.."
"Oh liddat ah..."
Dumb-founded!!??
20100112
doing doing doing
I receive an SMS from an agent with the details I need. A few minutes later, the secretary calls to confirm that I received the message. Yes, I did thank you.
Then I hear his voice in the background telling her what to say to me. Why bother when you can call & tell me yourself? Does the secretary relay the message to me? Well yes & no. Cos I heard him already so I guess she just didn't bother. So she just said thanks, bye.
Then I hear his voice in the background telling her what to say to me. Why bother when you can call & tell me yourself? Does the secretary relay the message to me? Well yes & no. Cos I heard him already so I guess she just didn't bother. So she just said thanks, bye.
20100111
the horse & the hunk
Caught Sherlock Holmes with the family last weekend. The daughter was a bit hesistant when we suggested to watch it but we bought the tickets anyways. She said something like someone told her it was boring or...
Me, wanting to watch the movie simply for obvious reasons dragged the hubby to get the tickets early Saturday morning.
Bloody brilliant, I tell you... Boring? Robert Downey Jr? Nevah!! RDJ, Jude Law, Rachel McAdams - the eye-candy didn't hurt. RDJ's buffed up bod & cocky arrogance? Oh yeah... JL's piercing blue eyes? Gorgeous... British caustic humor? Check. Enough action to keep the hubby smiling (it is after all a Guy Ritchie piece)
Watch it already if you haven't. .
Now which idiot said it was boring?? I'm gettting the DVD just for this.... well among other things.
may she rest in peace...
Got a message just a while ago about something tragic that happened at the place I stay. Seems a teenage girl fell to her death while trying to sneak out of the house. She was the same age as my daughter.
So I related the story to the daughter & told her never to try anything stupid like that. Her reply to me? "I'm not that retarded..." Well, I can rest, assured...
I got goose-bumps reading the message. I can't even begin to imagine the pain & hell her parents are going through. Well, I am praying for the dear girl's soul. May she rest in peace.
So I related the story to the daughter & told her never to try anything stupid like that. Her reply to me? "I'm not that retarded..." Well, I can rest, assured...
I got goose-bumps reading the message. I can't even begin to imagine the pain & hell her parents are going through. Well, I am praying for the dear girl's soul. May she rest in peace.
20100109
littlest things...
I got a very strange message or more like was told something that I find strange, this morning. See, I have a select few friends. When we meet of course the casual hugs & kisses is nothing out of the ordinary.
And I myself do the same hugs & kisses routine with some of my male friends, whom I have no feelings towards & them to me. I do this in public (well not in front of my MIL for she might give my hubby an earful) but the hubby himself is okay with it.
So anyways, back to what I was told. On a recent visit to a good friend's place we said our goodbyes with the girlfriend & me doing the norm hugs & kisses routine. My hubby who treated her nothing more than a younger sister did the same. They hugged, a quick peck on the check & said goodbye.. Well, it seemed harmless & I thought nothing of it although it took me by surprise (a wee bit) cos the hubby isn't the kind who does this to my friends especially. But I guess, I have known her for a number of years now & she's practically the younger adik we never had. So I shrugged it off...
So this morning, she calls me to tell me that she's been wanting to tell me something for a long time now but never found the guts to do so. Seems the little act of affection that my hubby displayed with her didn't go down to well with her other half. And to cut a long story short, she was told not to see me & him and god knows what other restrictions.
The hubby & I were at crossroads - do we go for the lunch tomorrow? Or do we stay away? Well, we were invited by the parents, not my girlfriend. But we don't want our presence there to cause animosity. We decided to 'buat bodoh' with the friend's other half & go for the do anyway just to 'bagi muka' kat the parents. Why must his parents-in-law or his son pay for his sins right?
Anyhoos...I don't know. Is it wrong for a harmless hug & a quick peck on the cheek? Is my hubby that intimidating? Why is he so insecure? It's not like my hubby went around behind my back, did the nasty or something like that. I was there... And I know for sure there were no ill intents. Really now????
And I myself do the same hugs & kisses routine with some of my male friends, whom I have no feelings towards & them to me. I do this in public (well not in front of my MIL for she might give my hubby an earful) but the hubby himself is okay with it.
So anyways, back to what I was told. On a recent visit to a good friend's place we said our goodbyes with the girlfriend & me doing the norm hugs & kisses routine. My hubby who treated her nothing more than a younger sister did the same. They hugged, a quick peck on the check & said goodbye.. Well, it seemed harmless & I thought nothing of it although it took me by surprise (a wee bit) cos the hubby isn't the kind who does this to my friends especially. But I guess, I have known her for a number of years now & she's practically the younger adik we never had. So I shrugged it off...
So this morning, she calls me to tell me that she's been wanting to tell me something for a long time now but never found the guts to do so. Seems the little act of affection that my hubby displayed with her didn't go down to well with her other half. And to cut a long story short, she was told not to see me & him and god knows what other restrictions.
The hubby & I were at crossroads - do we go for the lunch tomorrow? Or do we stay away? Well, we were invited by the parents, not my girlfriend. But we don't want our presence there to cause animosity. We decided to 'buat bodoh' with the friend's other half & go for the do anyway just to 'bagi muka' kat the parents. Why must his parents-in-law or his son pay for his sins right?
Anyhoos...I don't know. Is it wrong for a harmless hug & a quick peck on the cheek? Is my hubby that intimidating? Why is he so insecure? It's not like my hubby went around behind my back, did the nasty or something like that. I was there... And I know for sure there were no ill intents. Really now????
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