deja vu - back to school

last week, the hubby & i had to go to the daughter's school for report card day. she didn't do fantastically well but i am not that very much disappointed although i would have preferred much better results. but her dad was so upset & said she did not put in 150%. she studies albeit the eleventh hour (read: one night before the exam day) although we advise her to prepare well ahead. but i guess its part of the teenager's growing pains. old habits die hard - heck, if i had to sit for an exam now i'd probably do the same. and this 150% comes from the same person who also does eleventh hour research just the night before a certain project is due... oh well, perhaps it's hereditary.

but there is a chance at redemption in the year end finals & of course her pmr next year. so the thing is, the slyllabus now is so different from what we studied back then. my daughter asked me to coach in her maths, constructing angles. its been what, almost 20 years since i left school. so, the first thing i did was to go to the bookstore and buy a reference book. browsing through the book, they might as well be speaking french. i spent the weekend 'revising' my maths & learning how to construct angles using only the ruler & compass set and trying to solve the problems.

hubby got a brief look at what i was doing and asked 'didn't we do this when we were in form 5?'. i said 'ya, that's why kids these days are having difficulty coping. teachers are breezing through the topics without caring if the kids are really able to comprehend the concept. one minute, the daughter doing her homework on angles & the next minute on co-ordinates (literally)'

so its back to hitting the books - constructing angles, algebra equations, linear functions, pythagoras theorem & many more exciting formulaes. exciting much? one topic at a time..... sigh!! oh happy days..........

malaysian malaysian

this morning while in the car, the song 'here in my home' by the malaysian artistes for unity came on. i commented to my other half that i thought awie was kinda funny in the video clip. he thought i was kidding.

then out of nowhere, he said that i am stereotype malaysian malaysian. conversation went somewhat like this:

moi: huh? i was born in malaysia, so i am a malaysian lah. right?
him: you don't classify yourself by race, ie chinese, or malay or indian but you generalize yourself as a malaysian
moi: okayyyyyyy (still thought it didn't make sense). so it that good?
him: no
moi: not good ah? so must change is it?
him: no, be who you are
moi: tadi you cakap not good, now say be who you are. which is it?
him: no, no its good
moi: ah, okay whatever *rolls eyes*
him: like me, i am a malay malaysian
moi: okayyyyy (don't want to pursue conversation that is going nowhere)
him: like malays also, got prominent ones that stand out like kelantenese or penangites. right?
moi: cos they form their own cliques
him: ya

sigh, conversations with him sometimes can drive me up the wall but hey for better or for worse.

okay so i am a malaysian malaysian (whatever that means) but it's something i am proud of. like i said in my earlier posts (which is now in the twillight zone), whenever someone asks me what race i am (either because of my name, or the languages i speak or simply from the way i speak), i simply say i am malaysian. i speak & am able to comprehend malay, english, a smattering of the chinese language & bits and pieces of the tamil language; our diet is of sambal, curries & soups. so yeah, i am a melting pot of cultures.

what are you? meanwhile, below is the video to the said song. enjoy.....

where's your manners

everyone learns the magic words when they learn how to talk - please, thank you, sorry & excuse me. as a kid, these words come as easy as abc. but as you age (supposedly older & wiser), you forget its existence.......... and the irony of it is, the ability to utter these simple words diminishes not only as one ages but also as one reaches a higher level of seniority.


scene 1 - you are queuing up to pay at the cashier. she is scanning the items as you wait patiently. another customer bumps you to join the queue, pushes her items past yours to the cashier. it's like you are invisible. no excuse me. you say 'excuse me, i am not done here'. she looks you down. no sorry. the cashier is embarrased. you turn to the cashier and say 'some people are just so rude, aren't they?'. woman turns red but doesn't say a thing.


scene 2 - your hands are full with bags filled with groceries. as you walk into the lift lobby, a cleaner sweeping the floors rushes to help you press the button in the lift to your floor. a simple terima kasih & she is smiling from ear to ear.


scene 3 - a child does something nice for his parents, is it beneath them to say xie xie nie?


scene 4 - you are working late in the office. in rushing home, you left your empty coffee mug on your desk & think of washing it the next day. the next morning you come in, your mug is all washed & clean in the pantry. do u say nandri to the tea-lady?


scene 5 - a senior officer in the company, your subordinates or peers point out something to you that can help you with your work. is it beneath you to say thank you? they say a simple thank you is motivation enough for the staffs & a little goes a long way. (but jangan asyik thank you, great job, well done jer lah....increment bonus tetap wajib no???)


so there, if you have forgotten the magic words, go take a refreshers course......



ps. this post is dedicated to ju, whom i have only this to say 'tiang kayu, tiang letrik'

choices

did anyone ever tell you it's not easy being a woman? before you start on the women's lib & equal opportunities, the truth of the matter is the man's job is to provide & the women's to nurture & care. it is just the course of life. yes, we have evolved & now women are making up the majority of the work-force. the woman may be some hot-shot corporate figure but when she leaves the office for home - they take on the new role of mom and / or wife. it just can't be helped. okay maybe you have a maid at home to help you with the household chores but your maternal duties beckons you to ensure the meals are properly cooked & kids (big kid included) are fed, clothes are ironed, house is spick & span, school work done, kids get to bed on time, etc etc etc.....

we completed our studies with honors, start fresh-eyed in our career & climb the corporate ladder. then comes a time you decide to be mrs. someone. hubby is understanding & supportive of your career & you keep climbing the ladder running the rat race, keeping up with the joneses.
then along comes baby. nope that's not gonna stop you, you say. you are back at work, more determined than ever 'cos you have a child now & you want to put him / her in international school and provide the best.

the kid - either the maid, the parents or parents-in-law are looking after him. better still leave the kids (& the maid) at the grandparents' place, go visit them on the weekends. then can stay back in the office to work late. as long as you are providing financially & give the child whatever his littler heart desires. the holidays, the toys, the extra activities - it's all okay. mummy gets promoted to the very top of the corporate ladder & earns a five or six figure salary. she's working harder, pushing herself to do more, stressing herself out & not stopping for a breather. its all for the family, she says. the kid gets another maid to replace the earlier one who has left for indonesia or philippines or myanmar....she comes home at night, sends the kid for tuition or spends like an hour with the child before he heads off to bed. then she gets ready for bed & when hubby gets frisky - 'not tonight dear, i've had a long day & have a splitting headache....'

and on and on and on it goes.... for how long? so, when is it ever enough? when is mummy gonna stop to smell the roses? does she know what the child is up to in school or at home? before she knows it, the kid is all grown up & is now a teenager. does she know who his friends are, what he is up to?

i quit my job when i got my daughter & was out of the work-force for about 8 years. when she started schooling, i thought i would start working again. i had to start from scratch when i got a job after such long hiatus. it was kind of embarrasing at first - there my friends were holding positions like manager or lawyer. me? i was just a junior executive. i always asked myself - if only i didn't leave the workforce - i would be just like them....

slowly but surely i climbed the corporate ladder again. along the way, there were many challenges but i prevailed. and many a times i quit my job for the sake of my family. now? i am not working, staying home full time. do i regret it now? not the least bit. when i see what i have with my daughter, the special bond; that i can proudly say i have helped her be who she is today, recount her first word, her first step, her first fall...... i have achieved more than i can dream of.

i know of many women with high paying positions who left the job in the blink of an eye for the sake of their families. of course many people have said that they are so dumb to make that decision. but i believe that everything happens for a reason. its the grand scheme of life. it is simply a matter of your principles, your priorities & what matters to you the most. i have nothing but utmost respect for these women & i know for sure that they would say that they have made the right choice....

so before it all crumbles before your very eyes...stop pushing yourself so hard. its inevitable for the single parents out there - you have to work to support your family but we must all have a balance in life. if you can achieve the balance & harmony and can effectively juggle both work & family, kudos to you. if you have friends who love you enough to help you realise, then you are blessed. but life normally slaps you in the face (and sometimes hard) to make you realise, right what is wrong & set your perspectives right. and it also gives you the insight on who your friends really are......

to all the home-makers out there, this is for you.............. you nurture, you love, you give all unconditionally. the work just doesn' stop. for those who think a stay home mom has it easy stay at home, watch wah lai toi or astro ria, gossip & bitch; think again. the working woman leaves her job when she leaves the office (if she so chooses to bring home her work, its her choice). where do the stay home mom leave their work? tiring? yes. fulfilled? yes. happy? definitely....

dare to fail

how many of us can say that we have failed? be it academically, in a relationship, emotionally, to live up to one's expectations or in your career? and how many of us have survived this failure, come out holding our head up high triumphant & stronger? shouldn't we all have at least one opportunity in life to fail & to learn from that experience?

how many of us, especially parents allow our off-springs to fail? naturally all parents want the best for their children, try to provide the best within their means & in turn expect the best from the kids. but can we stand by them, lend a shoulder to cry on & an ear just to listen if they have faltered? can we assure them that they have tried their best, put in their every effort & heart and soul; and that failing is alright? can we help them realise this learning experience & guide them to try again & pray for their success?

i have failed many a times in my life thus far. making bad job choices, bad decisions, was a little too playful when i was a student & sort of survived through studies, & countless other blunders. but god is great.. in life's learning curve, the almighty allows you a second chance & i took every opportunity to right the wrong. and because of that, i am who i am now - as a person, as a friend, as a wife, as a mother....

so for those reading this, if you have in one way or another failed or faltered, fret not. it is not the end of the world. all is not lost, pick up the pieces, give it a little more & try harder. and when you win, you will appreciate it even more & it will make you a better & stronger person. its one of the many steps you take in life's journey...........

here's to something new

okay so i have changed the layout a bit:

- no more sad dog but tulips that have the calming & fresh effect;
- no more bossy heartless biatch ( i guess no morons to ruffle your feathers sort of sobers you a bit) but plain jane who is anything but plain
- even changed my blog url to blablablarants 'cos this is more like a way to vent my thoughts on somewhat unimportant yet real issues, giving my two sens worth (or perhaps more) & to bitch & whine when & where possible. and also dear ivan sort of doubted my earlier sexys-back address, which somehow isn't me apparently. oh well....

a kind samaritan managed to salvage some of my posts (i can only say thank you to sandals boi so many times), so i would repost one particular post 'dare to fail' that apparently touched a chord in some of my friends. right place, right time - i was pleasantly surprised when they thanked for writing it when i did. maybe they were going through a rough patch & somehow needed some kind words or just comfort knowing that they are not alone.

so there, this is my blog - a journal of my thoughts, emotions, principles, opinions & what-have-you. read it - if it inspires & comforts you then i am happy that i was able to help in a little way. if it offends, then i am sorry. laugh, cry, scream, swear - let it out & you will feel much better after that.

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

arggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.... i accidentally deleted my blog!!!! all my ramblings & rantings, gone - gone i tell you.

after months of preening & primping with layouts, songs for your listening pleasure, pictures & now its all gone. damn!!!!

i wrote to the help-desk & hope in someway somehow someone can help me restore them. sad right now...

sob sob sob..............