choices

did anyone ever tell you it's not easy being a woman? before you start on the women's lib & equal opportunities, the truth of the matter is the man's job is to provide & the women's to nurture & care. it is just the course of life. yes, we have evolved & now women are making up the majority of the work-force. the woman may be some hot-shot corporate figure but when she leaves the office for home - they take on the new role of mom and / or wife. it just can't be helped. okay maybe you have a maid at home to help you with the household chores but your maternal duties beckons you to ensure the meals are properly cooked & kids (big kid included) are fed, clothes are ironed, house is spick & span, school work done, kids get to bed on time, etc etc etc.....

we completed our studies with honors, start fresh-eyed in our career & climb the corporate ladder. then comes a time you decide to be mrs. someone. hubby is understanding & supportive of your career & you keep climbing the ladder running the rat race, keeping up with the joneses.
then along comes baby. nope that's not gonna stop you, you say. you are back at work, more determined than ever 'cos you have a child now & you want to put him / her in international school and provide the best.

the kid - either the maid, the parents or parents-in-law are looking after him. better still leave the kids (& the maid) at the grandparents' place, go visit them on the weekends. then can stay back in the office to work late. as long as you are providing financially & give the child whatever his littler heart desires. the holidays, the toys, the extra activities - it's all okay. mummy gets promoted to the very top of the corporate ladder & earns a five or six figure salary. she's working harder, pushing herself to do more, stressing herself out & not stopping for a breather. its all for the family, she says. the kid gets another maid to replace the earlier one who has left for indonesia or philippines or myanmar....she comes home at night, sends the kid for tuition or spends like an hour with the child before he heads off to bed. then she gets ready for bed & when hubby gets frisky - 'not tonight dear, i've had a long day & have a splitting headache....'

and on and on and on it goes.... for how long? so, when is it ever enough? when is mummy gonna stop to smell the roses? does she know what the child is up to in school or at home? before she knows it, the kid is all grown up & is now a teenager. does she know who his friends are, what he is up to?

i quit my job when i got my daughter & was out of the work-force for about 8 years. when she started schooling, i thought i would start working again. i had to start from scratch when i got a job after such long hiatus. it was kind of embarrasing at first - there my friends were holding positions like manager or lawyer. me? i was just a junior executive. i always asked myself - if only i didn't leave the workforce - i would be just like them....

slowly but surely i climbed the corporate ladder again. along the way, there were many challenges but i prevailed. and many a times i quit my job for the sake of my family. now? i am not working, staying home full time. do i regret it now? not the least bit. when i see what i have with my daughter, the special bond; that i can proudly say i have helped her be who she is today, recount her first word, her first step, her first fall...... i have achieved more than i can dream of.

i know of many women with high paying positions who left the job in the blink of an eye for the sake of their families. of course many people have said that they are so dumb to make that decision. but i believe that everything happens for a reason. its the grand scheme of life. it is simply a matter of your principles, your priorities & what matters to you the most. i have nothing but utmost respect for these women & i know for sure that they would say that they have made the right choice....

so before it all crumbles before your very eyes...stop pushing yourself so hard. its inevitable for the single parents out there - you have to work to support your family but we must all have a balance in life. if you can achieve the balance & harmony and can effectively juggle both work & family, kudos to you. if you have friends who love you enough to help you realise, then you are blessed. but life normally slaps you in the face (and sometimes hard) to make you realise, right what is wrong & set your perspectives right. and it also gives you the insight on who your friends really are......

to all the home-makers out there, this is for you.............. you nurture, you love, you give all unconditionally. the work just doesn' stop. for those who think a stay home mom has it easy stay at home, watch wah lai toi or astro ria, gossip & bitch; think again. the working woman leaves her job when she leaves the office (if she so chooses to bring home her work, its her choice). where do the stay home mom leave their work? tiring? yes. fulfilled? yes. happy? definitely....