do not judge...

A person just by speaking to them over the phone or the exchange of emails. Or can you? Are you able to tell what kind of person you are dealing with simply by exchanges of conversation via email or over the phone? Are you able to do so just by hearing that person's voice?

A couple of weeks back they had a topic of conversation on radio - how not to judge a person simply by listening to the person's voice. A sweet voice does not guarantee a looker. Well, not to be judgmental but I recently had a similar experience. I spoke to this person over the phone & the voice sounded so sweet & pleasant. When I actually got the chance to meet this person, well let's just say it was not what I expected. But all in all, I found the person to be extremely charming.

So anyways, the PA to one of the Directors (lives in the Land Below the Wind) of the place I work made me out to be a sweet charming person. We haven't met yet, not during the entire shy-of-1-year, I have worked with this person. I asked the PA how the assumption came about. Seems, the person deduced it from speaking to me over the phone (numerous times) & the emails I sent.

When we finally get to meet, I wonder if this person is in for a shock? But then again, I can be terribly pleasant and sweet when I want to be. Better practice smiling 'cos I have been told one time too many that I don't smile enough...

What a bummer!!

solved!!

Got the earlier spacing problem fixed. It's not my blog - it lurves me. It's the stupid laptop at home that hates me. Or not. Whatever...

spaced

I think my blog hates me for being ignored for too long. They refuse to 'space'. Bear with me while I try to figure out how to rectify the bloody problem...See the post below? Just read it all in one breath. :D

i'm not old just matured

"Age is an issue of mind over matter, if you don't mind it doesn't matter"

Mark Twain

I've never been one to be too sensitive when asked about my age. Why get all touchy feely when one asks how old you are. I am not ashamed to admit my true age, not adding or subtracting a few years here and there...

I know someone who is eternally 39 since five years ago though I must say he looks pretty darn good for a person nearing 50. And they say women are vain!!

So anyways, I have passed the hill... And what's that they say that 40 is the new 20. Let's rewind back to the conversation that some friend commented that I'm high maintenance. This is how it came about. See, a couple of ex-schoolmates who just can't get enough of each other (beats me why they are so fond of each other) decide to meet. A dinner gathering some weeks back managed to garner a handful & they thought due to popular demand, they'd do another. So okay fine, I call this guy up - let's just call him Hamsap (hmsp for short) & we were chatting.

Then he mentions that he actually caught up with a couple of ex-classmates during the recent Chinese New Year gathering. And he mentioned that some ladies (who were quite a looker back in the days) looking like an 'Ah Sam' (frumpy aunty) now. He says he doesn't understand why they don't bother to take care of themselves.

So I told him, well some women are born with the ability to age gracefully. And somehow I am lucky to have been given that advantage by my Creator. I'm not blowing my own trumpet here but I look way better now than 20 years ago. That's when I got tagged 'high maintenance' or somewhere between that.

I mean, given a choice between a 20 year old PYT and a 40 year old woman, any sane virile man would want to go for the young PYT, no? Bergetah, they say...Unless the older woman looks like JLo or Jennifer Aniston lah...But think about it, compare a 20 year old PYT & a 40 year old woman. The former is probably just getting out of college, or starting a new job, financially... well just starting while the latter is already drawing a steady income & not that clingy. Well, I've yet to meet a whiny clingy mature woman...

Would I want to go back to being a 20 year old lady if I could turn back time? Thanks but I'll pass. I'm pretty pleased with how I turned out to be. So I may not be on the Forbes 500 or 5000 list. But I've not got my knickers in a bunch 'cos of that. I'm not the CEO of where I work but I'm happy doing what I'm doing. I may not drive a Maserati (although I wish I was) but all the same my ride gets me from Point A to B albeit much much much slower. I have a great husband who loves me & a wonderful daughter who makes me proud. I may not have buns of steel or sculpted abs or toned arms & legs but I'm still XS when I shop for my clothes (well in some shops more than others) and most importantly healthy.

So, what do I think of 40 being the new 20? Thanks but no thanks, I'll take 41 for now, thank you....

How 'bout you???

high maintainence

I was chatting with a friend a while ago & he was telling me he needed to hire a PA or Confidential Secretary. So we were chatting away & in between here and there the subject of an upcoming get-together came up. Since he doesn't have access to Facebook, he told me to RSVP for him. For no rhyme or reason, I became his secretary. "That's your first task," he tells me. I informed him that I don't come cheap.

He had the cheek to say "Ya I knew that a long time ago already. From way back then..."

I asked him what he meant. Whether I was difficult to maintain as in my character, or I'm high maintenance. He said - in all aspects, it is very difficult to maintain you.

What is that supposed to mean?

of poly & mono

I have always hated it when men talk about the right to practicing polygamy especially Muslim men and they always use the Holy Prophet (pbuh) citing that they are merely following his example. I don't understand how is it that they can only single out that one single characteristic & not the other honorable traits that the Holy Prophet (pbuh) had.

So anyways, I'm not entirely against polygamy. If the other half wants to go sow his seeds elsewhere, why should I be the one to stop him. But I have set my T&C and until and only until after he has fulfilled each and everyone one of them (and then some), just point me the dotted line and I'll sign away like there's no tomorrow.

Then certain rules come into effect, to which I am at discretion (sole discretion) to change /amend / rescind as I please. But many a men whom I have spoken to disagree strongly with my 'condition'. They say that it is required in the religion that I have to consent if the hubby can afford (in more ways than one). Hey, does it also say in the religion that I have to be stupid and not protect my kid'[s and my interest?

I mean, I am not judging men who have more than one other half. But to me, it is nothing more than creating problems for yourself. But then again if you want to dig a big hole & bury yourself in a pile of shit, well what else can we say... Just keep us out of the sewers, thank you very much.

Is my other half being 'gatal' and wanting to create an extended family? Not that I know of at this point of time. But then again, he says he would be signing his death warrant if he ever did that. He says that I am a nut case waiting to be unleashed & he's not willing to be the person letting loose 'Jekyll Jane'

my new love

I have a new love in my life & the name starts with a "C'......


Love, love, love, I love my C....

the time is now. or not.

The hubby has for awhile now been telling me that he wants to retire in his mid-40s, have an easy life and play golf every day if not every other day. I asked him if that was even possible as he is one who is not able to sit still & always has something brewing in his head.

He says he's tired of working & wants to enjoy life while he still can. So I tell him to do whatever makes him happy.

Then two weeks back, he completed & closed the books on a project he had been handling for the past seven years (who knew it took that long to build a highway?). And after the final audit meeting he took a week off. In that week, he played golf on all but one day.

He came back every evening sunburned & tired. So, end of the week I ask him how is the preview to retirement. He tells me "Cam nak muntah dah main golf".

So I suppose the retiring & gardening plans are on hold for now....

everything happens overnight (or over many nights)

The company I am attached to is in the process of acquiring yet another subsidiary (and the organization chart just gets longer horizontally) & bam!! the big kahuna tell me 'PJ, the signing ceremony is ...'

What? That's like less than a week. The heavens were looking down on me favorably, so now it's scheduled to happen next Monday. Fine, book the venue; draw up the guest list; design the invite; send out invitations; menu for lunch; RSVP, photographer, emcee. Kow tim lah, easy peasy. I send him a BB message proposing someone to be the emcee. Then he tells me "I prefer you to be the MC". One knee weak.... What the hell do I know about emceeing?

A few messages later, this comes in from him "Need to do press release". I reply "NT?" (NT is one of the director who does all the communications part). Big kahuna replies "Can you do?". Am I allowed to say no? So I answer in a politically correct way "I'll try (need a friends help)". He pats me virtually and says "Good girl."

The shit I get myself into!!! Never learned how to keep my big mouth shut & never will I suppose. So Bee immediately comes to mind. She's a pro at this. She agrees to help. Bless her, me lurves her so. But she also takes the rightful opportunity to remind me that I am so screwed.

He is either overly confident of my abilities to become someone I am not overnight or utterly crazy. In my opinion, he's more the latter than the former. To which he responded with a guffaw.

Now excuse me, while I wax lyrical about the oil & gas industry, mechanical & engineering services, 2009 economic recovery & 2010 global economy. I sound like an alien, even to me.

dear aunt...

I may have once too many times come across as an unsympathetic listener. I'm probably a good listener - yes, I hear you; I nod when I need to; I 'hmm' at the right cues'; I smile or tsk at the right juncture... I seem to do fine. Until they ask me my opinion & for what it's worth I say it as I see it.

Well, they DID ask. So was it wrong to give? Or it might be probably due to the fact that what they said or did that I somehow disagreed with. So there...

But what I can't comprehend is the whining & going on and on and on and on about something they are unhappy about. I always believe life is about choices. To do something good. To do something bad. To screw up. To do good.

Whatever you decide, whatever you do; accept the outcome & repercussions. Take responsibility for your actions. If your hands are tied & there is only so much you can do about the situation, bite your tongue, suck it in & ride the waves, tides, tsunami & all. If you are in a position to better it, stick to your guns, stand your ground & just do it.

But don't come crying to me & whining & boo-hooing about how unfair life is and in the process confuse me, you & the whole wide world. Want to rant & let steam out? Blog or write in your journal? Not the writing kind, get in the car, drive like an asshole, blast your stereo & blurt expletives in every language that you know. It helps. Done it before. But just so you know, I'm limited to four languages.

So there, who's next to confess their hearts contents to me?? I'm LISTENING.... & waiting to give you my unsolicited advise.

women are from... & men are just...

I'm on FB the same time I'm typing this post. He strikes a conversation asking me what I'm up to. Nothing much really, just cooling off after gym before I hit the showers and get ready for bed.

So he complains about the weather (yes, it's been terribly warm) & says he want to go watch a movie. Go lah, I tell him. Then he rants about how he went to watch a movie once alone & felt akward. Simply cos everyone else around him had either their other half or their families. I told him I too went to catch a movie on my own once, okay jer... Then I suggested that he just watch a movie on DVD or something like that.

So anyways, I'm curious - can't the male species do things on their own. I know my other half cannot go shopping, go out for meals at a restaurant, do the groceries, or watch a movie at the cinema alone. I do it solo all the time. No hal pun!!?? Susah sangat ke?

Enlighten me, someone...

trust me trust me not

Sometimes it really frustrates me that she cannot trust me to write a simple email or memo or letter. All drafts must go through her. Am I really so incompetent? If yes, then why hire me in the first place? She's afraid that simply because that the BOD is gonna be copied on the mail I must put the commas and colons, the 'is' and 'are' are in the proper place in the sentence.

the beginning of the end?

Watched 'Motherhood' on DVD last night....Meant to be a comedy but I didn't think it.


The story tells of one day in Eliza's (Uma Thurman) life & shows how frantic it is. It revolves around one day in her life. What with the day that her daughter is turning 6. She wakes up, takes a picture of her sleeping daughter, goes to her studio prints out the picture & writes 'Clara's last day of being 5' (or something like that). Then the alarm rings, and all hell breaks loose. Well, motherhood hell at least.

In the entire movie, she is either in her sleeping gown or some dowdy looking boho outfit. I've nothing against boho chic or gypsy skirts but seriously?? Her hair is a mess, she drives a beat-up Volvo filled with everything from books to cassettes t o boxes. She goes around running mindless errands (according to her) - shopping at season clearance sales where she got a $340 dress for $40. Bringing the son to the playground, blogging, getting the cake & shopping for goody bags for her daughter's birthday.

I wondered how I got through till the end of the movie. All it left me was me thinking whether it is really such a terrible vocation. Yeah, life takes a sudden detour when you become a mother. Yes, we are running errands & it may feel like a thankless job sometimes.


I've been there done that. It has been a journey of joy, frustration, laughter, tears & myriad of emotions. But I learned to take things as they come & accept come what may.

I've seen mothers who let it go - the dowdy phase where they let it all hang & blame it on the kids. Okay, so your ass gets an inch wider with every child you have, or the love handles grows and the tummy makes its appearance more prominent. I've been through this phase too as well...

But why? Is it written somewhere that you must look like a bag-lady once you've had kids. Aren't we allowed to look & feel good? Can't we just have some moments to ourselves without having to be at the kids beck & call? Aren't we entitled to one insane moment to let it loose & forget about the kids?

Forget about the kids you say? Yes, and throw in the hubby too for good measure (the one that never grew up!!)... Cruel you say? Bugger off, I say. I've had an experience when I was stuck with the kid in a totally new place (we had just moved to this location & I had no friends & family), and the daughter was settling comfortably into her terrible two stage. It drove me nuts I tell you. I had no social life, my life was the hubby and the child. I was on the edge of insanity. I kid you not...

What did I do? I took a time-out. I left the kid with the hubby & went out. I went for a massage, retail therapy & window shopping. I joined the gym, took up horseback riding & started doing things for myself.

Well, now the daughter is 16 & the hubby well yeah (they never grow up you know)...They still drive me nuts on special occasions but it's bearable. I try to see the lighter side of things and not to be too serious. Life's too short really. I've embracing, enduring & surviving motherhood. It may seem like a thankless job but there is nothing else in the world I would trade it for.

Instead of being a frumpy mummy, go for the yummy mummy!!!

and they call it....

The hubby was relating to me what he heard on a local radio station a few days back.

"Masa zaman sekolah, kalau bercinta panggil cinta monyet. Kalau dah kerja, bercinta panggil cinta apa??"

Think about it....

somewhere out there

Are people who really really like me, for me. Awwwww. Sweet no?

Twice yesterday I get the message. One via gtalk on why I haven't been updating my blog. Yes I have been a bit tied up with work and at the same time experiencing 'writer's block' or 'blogger's block'. So I thought I'd just drop by today to let y'all know I am alive & kicking...

Someone once mentioned that my posts on my rambling about work is a bit of a bore but she understood that I was just letting off steam. I can't possibly go bitching to my boss so where else but here. Can I help it if some people of higher powers are just idiots & that I cannot tolerate stupidity?

I was also reminded that my blog was supposed to be about people around me, happenings around me.. She said "Why don't you observe the people around you when you are driving to & back from work?". Well, at 110kmph I doubt I'd remember much less notice anyone around me. Unless they are walking by or sprinting across the highway stark naked. Then I'd put on my emergency brakes and take photos.

So back to message no 2, he calls and asks me "Eh where you disappeared to ah? Long time you're not on FB. We missed you lah... Everyone's asking about" (and by everyone he probably meant him and one other person, so there...). So I drop by FB & give him a dose of what he's been missing.

Guys, thanks for the thoughts. It's nice to know that some people love me for me warts, nasties and all... I larb you too....