20090310

love means never having to say you're sorry

As usual this morning while sending the daughter to school, i tune in to fly.fm & they were commenting on Oprah's show last night. Apparently they managed to get a hold of a copy of the police report on the Rihanna-Chris Brown fight.

Quote unquote according to the report - Rihanna started attacking Brown when she read a text message sent to him by a woman (possessive much??). And he threatened by saying 'I'm gonna beat the shit out of you when we get home, you wait & see'. She then fakes a call to her PA saying 'Have the cops there', afterwhich he looked at her and said 'Now you've done the stupidest thing ever, now I'm really going to kill you' & continued attacking her. Then there were stories about them reconciling, going to Miami to kiss & make up. What's this about love being blind again.

Seriously, if a man does that to a woman; beats her mindless, threatens to kill her - which sane woman would then brush everything aside & go 'La di da di da, I love him. Let's go for a holiday & make as if it was all just a bad dream'?? I mean, really?

In my past relationship & present, I have set one rule and only one rule straight - lay your hand on me & I walk out no ifs and buts about it. Of course they have been times when we have misunderstandings & screamed obscenities at each other but the hubby knows that if he ever decides to test his backhand, well.....

Okay, some may disagree and say 'Hey, why not give the abuser a second chance. He/she may be sorry, feel remorse and vow never to do it again'. So if they are truly truly remorseful of their actions, they will do whatever necessary to make amends. But more often than not, the abusers are creatures of habit. If they hit once, they will definitely hit again. And after each incident (or accident) their 'sorries' are meaningless.

Yes, our grandmother's generation or even our mother's generation would have just taken it all silently but we are not them. I am very passionate about this cause be it spouse abuse or child abuse. No one deserves this sort of abuse, regardless of creed, their level of education or gender be it physical or mental. One should not endure this kind of 'torture' just to save face; what if it goes out of control & the victim ends up dead? Like Oprah says 'Love isn't supposed to hurt'.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

remind me those days....hurm..

plain jane said...

well, its good that you got out of it when you did. a bit of a struggle yes but it will all be for the better in the end...