nicknames
- if laura, kate & sarah go out to lunch, they will call each other laura, kate & sarah.
- if mike, dave & john go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as fat boy, godzilla or four eyes.
eating out
- when the girls get their bill, out comes the pocket calculators
- when the bill arrives; mike, dave & john will each throw in $20 even though the bill is only $32.50. none of them will have anything smaller & none will actually admit they want change back.
- a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't need but it's on sale
- a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
bathrooms
- the average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 337. a man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
- a man has seven items in his bathroom - toothbrush & toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, deodorant and a towel
arguments
- a woman has the last word in any argument
- anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
future
- a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
- a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
success
- a successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
- a successful woman is one who can find such a man
marriage
- a woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't
- a man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does
offspring
- a woman knows all about her children. she knows about dentist appointments & romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, hopes & dreams
- a man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house
does that make men happier? women are from venus, men are just clueless...
2 comments:
no they're NOT! they just want to be seen as happier ;)
sexist arent i? lol!
not very difficult to keep them happy, what with them being simpletons. don't you think so??
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