things you don't say to your wife

got this from a friend a couple of days back. pretty hilarious stuff. men, take note...





sing along now folks...

hey honey, have you gained some weight in your rear ends
the dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriends
and where'd you get those shoes, i think they're pretty lame
would you stop talking cos i'm trying to watch the game
if you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
these are the things you don't say to your wife

i planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
i didn't ask you but i knew it'd be okay
go make some dinner while i watch this fishing show
i taped it over our wedding video
if you're a man who done that
a long and happy life
these are the things you don't say to your wife

your cooking is okay but not like mother makes
the diamond in the ring i bought you is a fake
your eyes look puffy dear are you feeling ill
happy anniversary, i bought you a treadmill
if you're a man who wants to live, yeah thats you
these are the things you don't say to your wife
you're a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife
these are the things you don't say to your wife

he's got some other stuff on his site www.timhawkins.net or you can check them out at www.youtube.com (especially the 'i don't drink beer')