the beginning of the end?

Watched 'Motherhood' on DVD last night....Meant to be a comedy but I didn't think it.


The story tells of one day in Eliza's (Uma Thurman) life & shows how frantic it is. It revolves around one day in her life. What with the day that her daughter is turning 6. She wakes up, takes a picture of her sleeping daughter, goes to her studio prints out the picture & writes 'Clara's last day of being 5' (or something like that). Then the alarm rings, and all hell breaks loose. Well, motherhood hell at least.

In the entire movie, she is either in her sleeping gown or some dowdy looking boho outfit. I've nothing against boho chic or gypsy skirts but seriously?? Her hair is a mess, she drives a beat-up Volvo filled with everything from books to cassettes t o boxes. She goes around running mindless errands (according to her) - shopping at season clearance sales where she got a $340 dress for $40. Bringing the son to the playground, blogging, getting the cake & shopping for goody bags for her daughter's birthday.

I wondered how I got through till the end of the movie. All it left me was me thinking whether it is really such a terrible vocation. Yeah, life takes a sudden detour when you become a mother. Yes, we are running errands & it may feel like a thankless job sometimes.


I've been there done that. It has been a journey of joy, frustration, laughter, tears & myriad of emotions. But I learned to take things as they come & accept come what may.

I've seen mothers who let it go - the dowdy phase where they let it all hang & blame it on the kids. Okay, so your ass gets an inch wider with every child you have, or the love handles grows and the tummy makes its appearance more prominent. I've been through this phase too as well...

But why? Is it written somewhere that you must look like a bag-lady once you've had kids. Aren't we allowed to look & feel good? Can't we just have some moments to ourselves without having to be at the kids beck & call? Aren't we entitled to one insane moment to let it loose & forget about the kids?

Forget about the kids you say? Yes, and throw in the hubby too for good measure (the one that never grew up!!)... Cruel you say? Bugger off, I say. I've had an experience when I was stuck with the kid in a totally new place (we had just moved to this location & I had no friends & family), and the daughter was settling comfortably into her terrible two stage. It drove me nuts I tell you. I had no social life, my life was the hubby and the child. I was on the edge of insanity. I kid you not...

What did I do? I took a time-out. I left the kid with the hubby & went out. I went for a massage, retail therapy & window shopping. I joined the gym, took up horseback riding & started doing things for myself.

Well, now the daughter is 16 & the hubby well yeah (they never grow up you know)...They still drive me nuts on special occasions but it's bearable. I try to see the lighter side of things and not to be too serious. Life's too short really. I've embracing, enduring & surviving motherhood. It may seem like a thankless job but there is nothing else in the world I would trade it for.

Instead of being a frumpy mummy, go for the yummy mummy!!!

and they call it....

The hubby was relating to me what he heard on a local radio station a few days back.

"Masa zaman sekolah, kalau bercinta panggil cinta monyet. Kalau dah kerja, bercinta panggil cinta apa??"

Think about it....

somewhere out there

Are people who really really like me, for me. Awwwww. Sweet no?

Twice yesterday I get the message. One via gtalk on why I haven't been updating my blog. Yes I have been a bit tied up with work and at the same time experiencing 'writer's block' or 'blogger's block'. So I thought I'd just drop by today to let y'all know I am alive & kicking...

Someone once mentioned that my posts on my rambling about work is a bit of a bore but she understood that I was just letting off steam. I can't possibly go bitching to my boss so where else but here. Can I help it if some people of higher powers are just idiots & that I cannot tolerate stupidity?

I was also reminded that my blog was supposed to be about people around me, happenings around me.. She said "Why don't you observe the people around you when you are driving to & back from work?". Well, at 110kmph I doubt I'd remember much less notice anyone around me. Unless they are walking by or sprinting across the highway stark naked. Then I'd put on my emergency brakes and take photos.

So back to message no 2, he calls and asks me "Eh where you disappeared to ah? Long time you're not on FB. We missed you lah... Everyone's asking about" (and by everyone he probably meant him and one other person, so there...). So I drop by FB & give him a dose of what he's been missing.

Guys, thanks for the thoughts. It's nice to know that some people love me for me warts, nasties and all... I larb you too....

leaving an impression

I've always come across as someone with no nonsense, cannot tolerate nonsense & will tell it as it is. Some find it a nasty trait, some says its good. Depends I suppose on one's perception & acceptance.

In a previous employment, I had two charges under my supervision. When they do well, I give credit where it's due. When they screw up, they hear what I need them to hear. I've laid the ground rules (well my golden rules):

'If there is anything that you don't know, ask. I've never screamed at anyone simply for asking. If you don't ask & you go ahead and do it, if it turns out well then you are lucky, if you screw up then too bad for you.'

'I only say things once or at most twice. I never like to sound like a broken record.'

'I cannot tolerate stupidity'.

Well, honestly I don't know what were they thought of me. Whether they liked me or hated me to death, I never asked. I give what I think they truly deserve & stand up for them when I should. It may have made me unpopular with certain parties but I didn't lose any sleep over it.

Fast forward, today someone told me that one of my ex-subordinate marched into the big kahuna's office to express her dissatisfaction at the review she received (which rated her as below average thus resulting in a no increment). Seems she complimented me citing that although I was fierce & 'keras' at least I do what is right.

Keras? Don't ask me. I'm every bit as lost as you ought to be....

So anyways, I'm glad that albeit my unconventional (yes? no?) method of getting things done & albeit being the occasional pain in the arse, I left a positive impression. I suppose it is nice to be remembered for the good I did & the 'wonderful righteous' person that I am. Blowing my own trumpet much?

One person's perception of the kind of person I am - 'mulut jahat macam sial tapi hati baik'. Which is better, that or the opposite?

the wicked witch

The witch is back. The bitch is back. The devil is back. Seems, it was never gone.

This morning I arranged for the office boy to go to the auditors' office to collect some documents. A while ago, he calls me to say that the person he's supposed to pick it up from isn't in the office today.

So I call my colleague in East Coast to check what's going on. A quick call to the auditors' branch office in the East Coast region; seems that the guy was supposed to bring it to the KL office since he's gonna be here today to do some auditing. I feel my temper rising... I ask the girl whether she informed my office. She goes "Ya, ya"

I call my office boy & tell him to leave and do other things. Then I call my colleague again & ask her what went wrong where. After some corporate tai-chi, I walk out to find that the bugger was in my office the whole morning & had already passed the documents to someone else.

I of course did not hesitate to give him a piece of my mind. Tsk tsk tsk...all my effort to be Mother Theresa incarnate is flushed down the drain, slowly if not surely.

Must. Be. Kind.

of bobs, bangs, anna & prada

I have this habit. One minute I want to let my hair grow and do soft curls & all that glam. But now with the weather like this, my shoulder length hair was getting a bit irritating.

So I made a call to my hairdressers to make an appointment. My regular stylist is on leave, they tell me. Would I like to come back another day, she asks me. I have things to do this weekend, so I told them I'll go with whichever stylist available.

Finished work & left the office at 6pm. 'Schumied' my way to Taman Tun & managed to reach there at 615pm for my appointment. I sit. They bring me magazines. The stylist comes. Someone I don't recognize. New maybe. Till, he speaks. Ahhhh, Alvin - the daughter's stylist. He looks different. New hairdo. Occupational hazards? Maybe.

I decide to color my hair. Back to black. He's not to keen on black. He suggests ash, or burgundy, or something else. Told him I'm sick of the 'karat' look. Blue black, he says. Okaylah. It turns out to look like a wig. A very dark wig. But no matter.

He tells me I need to cut it off cos it's getting messy. He asks me what I want to do. I tell him to do whatever he wants as long as I don't end up looking weird or retarded. He tells me to trust him. A few snips, a few rinses & god-knows-what else later, I end up with a bob, bangs & he says like "Anna".

Anna? Who's Anna? The first thing that comes to mind is Anna & the King. There will be a first of suing the hairdresser for making one look like THAT Anna. Don't think I'll be able to carry off the look... Even I am scared to imagine that. Can anyone imagine me looking like Jodie Foster in her Anna role? Traumatized for life, I'd say.

No, no the very famous one.... the boss of Vogue, he says. Oh! That Anna. Anna Wintour. The devil who wears Prada. Or Meryll Streep. Old, I ask. No, no, he defends. Very vogue (pun intended?) & trendy, he says.


I'm trying to get used to this look. Wonder what the daughter's reaction will be when she sees me this evening when I pick her up at the airport. The last I had bangs was like when I was in a school uniform. Yup, that long ago...
But I must say I do like what Alvin has done. I think I'll change stylists. I like Alvin. He's cute (not drop dead handsome like RDJ but okaylah), bubbly, fashion conscious (telling me about Alexander Wang), risk taker (assuring me confidently that I will like the look even when I was doubting), chatty, bubbly and all that. Yup, I'm definitely changing stylists....

Now, maybe this weekend I'll drop by Prada. You think?

a little less conversation, a little more time

We are heading back to my office after lunch. He sees a PYT getting into a cab by the side of the road.

"Wah, her kaki so panjang. I like"

"Hmm, okay..."

"What do I sound like?"

"Like a hamsap bugger digging his own grave"

"At least I berani cakap depan you"

"Make sure cakap jer. Kalau buat?"

"Yes, I'm digging my own grave"

And this is one of our saner conversations....