amen to that...

Still doing my benefits write up and I came across this new word Super Dino introduced to me. And a conversation between my evil twin & I transpire...

"New word - Amentities"

"Amen, hahahaha"

"Tities, amen"

"Amen, you got nice tities"

It was a laugh out loud moment. I couldn't help myself...

Thanks darling evil twin for helping me at times of need! Me lurves youse.

allow me the benefit at your expense

Major headache now. Something I really don't need. But I'm going off for a retail therapy tomorrow. So I shall persevere...

Taking a breather now. (yes I am blogging while I am supposed to be busy & the deadline is end of today, which is like 2 hours away).

So anyways, the company after merging and buying up little companies decides to streamline their processes and stuff. One major headache is the staffs' allowances, benefits & expenses. And yours truly has been assigned the thankless job of checking claims and policing them to make sure they don't siphon the company's moolah one dollar at a time. I'm beginning to think I have the words "CLAIMS" on my forehead somewhere that everyone else but I can see. Every where I go, it somehow becomes my job to check them.

Anyhoos, I am doing the 'bible' for an upcoming HR clinic for the heads & persons in charge who will be enlightened on the new procedures, benefits and all that jazz.

Bertungkus lumus I work on the clauses only to have Super Dino change it all... like this...

From 'In the course of official duties, authorized employees shall be reimbursed' to 'In the course of official duties, only senior employees and employees in constant dealings'

From 'clients and business associates' to 'clients / principals / bankers'

From 'any amount exceeding than that of the amount given' to 'any amount exceeding by filling the entertainment form that of the amount given'

From 'the executive committee has the discretion to control the grant of entertainment expenses' to... oh wait, she took out that clause.

I am in no mood to make the changes to the grammar mistakes or whatever crap she is trying to put across. She is trying to aircon the ED by putting in word for word what he typed in his email. Monkey see monkey do. You know how they say you pay peanuts, you get monkeys... Now with the assortment of nuts available, even if the nuts are expensive, you still get monkeys. They are definitely not paying her peanuts, more like pine nuts but nevertheless...

I'm not arguing with anything. I just want to finish off this shitty thing, give it to her and go off for my trip tomorrow. And come back on Tuesday to all this madness..

when you wish upon a star

Should I count my lucky stars that the daughter is refusing every single idea I have put forward to her for a birthday prezzie? She's turning 16 soon and as the norm, we want to give her something she would really like and want. She says "don't know". So I shoot off some ideas - new phone? No. I-Pod? No. Laptop? No. Shoes? No. Clothes? No. Watch? No. Cash? She hesitates...

But cash is so impersonal. But perhaps if I gave it to her to buy whatever her little heart desires..

If it were any other kid, they'd probably try their luck for 16 prezzies.. But I must have been good somewhere along my life to deserve such a darling.

Any ideas on what makes a good gift for sweet 16?

by virtue...

Can anyone please explain the meaning behind this question - "is d virtue from is d right one ?"

Badaks speaks, me must learns...

i am man, hear me whimper...

Did you read this today in the papers? About men being the weaker sex? Hey, don't get all riled up.. Read it and tell me it's not true.

I have had first hand experience and let me assure you that it's all true. ALLLLLLL TRUE. When its us females who are sick, they'll just tell you to take medicine and go to sleep cos that's what we need. Complete rest. Then they'll say 'Okaylah, you masak bubur lah kalau takde selera nak makan". Worse still at the first sign of the sniffles, they'll pump you up with medicine so that you aren't even allowed to fall sick. "You can't fall sick, who's gonna do (rattles off a list of things to do)??"

When its their turn to take medicine, go to sleep and get a complete rest, they'll say "Tak boleh tidur lah, got block nose. Joints aching. Kepala sakit lah, demam lah" only to check their temperature and find out its all imaginary. Don't even get me started on the million and one excuses they come up with when you start to suggest a visit to the docs...

when in doubt

You know when you write a letter or any form of correspondence but don't know who to address it to - 'sir' for male, 'madam' for female, 'to whom it may concern' doesn't sound so friendly?

I found an ingenious way to address this situation (pun unintended). I was copied on a mail sent to two people actually and sender decided to put in 'Dear both'.

Either way, it can also be used for a sexually confused person who's not sure if he's a woman trapped with a disco stick or a dyke with boobs & cupid stunt (credits to ah chan for this).

raindrops keep falling on my...

"Hi, need to check with you if your boss holds any directorship in other public listed companies other than (present company)"

"ABC Sdn Bhd & XYZ Sdn Bhd. Do you need me to fill up a form?"

"Sdn Bhd is not PLC"

"Oh I forgot. Then takdelah. Its only this"

**Speechless**

Even the good news / fairly bad news I got before this happened couldn't top this.